Hey guys! i’m writing another blog post!! this is so awesome! if you read my last post (one million years ago) and stuff, i really appreciate it and hope you found something interesting!! i’d love to hear any input from you guys about what sounds cool or whatever, so puhleause let me know. i added a little comment section guest book thing to my home page and ill include it at the end of these posts, so im like begging you to let me know what you think. but yeah, anyways i'm excited to be working on something again!! Also im so sorry for not updating this in one million years i havent had a laptop for like 3 months but kram saved my fucking life and gave me their old chromebook so were so fucking back. Thank you kram #bestroommateever
so, in this post i'm gonna be just kinda shooting the shit about one of my more developed ideas, Roadkill Club, because victor said it sounded cool one million years ago sooooo i kinda have to run with it. RKC is objectively one of the ideas i'm more serious and passionate about (ive been like developing it for like two years at this point) so i kinda think it’s the one i should maybe commit to and see what comes of it. i dunno what exactly committing to it means, but it would be nice to maybe write out a few pages of this bad boy and then you guys can actually read my writing instead of just looking at my vague descriptions!!
note, this post is probably gonna be really disjointed because i'm just shitting out my random ideas into one post so that there’s an idea of what this project is like, so sorry if it jumps all over the place!
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Roadkill Club is my cannibalism story. not to repeat the synopsis over and over, but the general gist is that a group of texas state students, almost entirely disconnected from each other, all individually discover they have a constant, insatiable desire to eat raw, fresh meat. Initially it starts as little more then an impulse, but it very slowly grows into an all-consuming desire that they can’t shake. Where exactly this impulse comes from is unknown, but each character begins to be slowly overtaken by it. At first they scavenge on their own, but in their efforts they quickly find out they're not alone. They’re all attracted to each other like flies, literally sniffing each other out in the crowd of seemingly endless students. Then, because they know they're not alone, they begin to try and learn how to deal with with this new obsession as it continues to grow stronger. But, because of how different and desperate they are, it all very quickly spirals into horrible violence and depravity.
A thing i really want to dig into during this story, as mentioned in the last post, is how weird and fucked up their dynamic is as a group. Each character is so vastly different in personality and worldview that they would likely never organically come into each other's lives without the influence of the hunger, and if they did they would completely write each other off. But the hunger completely changes that. Once they find each other, they realize that they are the only people who can understand and empathize with what the other is going through. But this doesn't mean they like each other. They're all generally antagonistic towards each other but no matter how bad they treat each other, they always come back. They can only find comfort and understanding in each other. So they endure the abuse and hate because they would rather have a black eye then be alone. I think as the hunger progresses, it almost becomes a thing where they view each other as the only real people, and everyone else as just…not alive. Which leads to them doing a lot of bad things. Also they're all like constantly touching up on each other. Like actually fucking like crazy. But in less of a hot way and more of an exploitative way.
so yeah, big deal, this story takes place IN SAN MARCOS AT TEXAS STATE! which is cool because that’s WHERE I LIVE AND GO TO SCHOOL! with my friends who ALSO LIVE THERE AND GO TO SCHOOL THERE!! Texas State has always been like the obvious setting for this story because i got the idea when i got rejected from txst (rip) and was going to acc to get into texas state, so now that i'm here and live here i kinda see RKC everywhere around me not to be really annoying and pretentious. I can’t image it taking place anywhere else or else it wouldn’t be RKC. I also think it just sounds fun to have the characters be at places i know and have been to in like day to day life (they drink at showdown, they eat dead animals at purgatory creek, some of the characters live in like mesquite or something).
When it takes place is a little more tricky. I haven’t decided if it’s going to take place like currently, or sometime in the past, and i have reasoning for both. The main reason i think id do currently is just because it's easier, and i know it better. If i was gonna do it in the past, it would be very specifically in 1998, when my dad went to TXST because he tells me about it all the time, and also because of one specific event; the super crazy flooding that happened in october of 1998. i think having the flood be kinda like a big climatic backdrop for the inevitable violent end of the RKC would be kind of cool. I think the story culminating in all the evidence getting washed away and nobody ever knowing what happened is kinda like crushing and awful so it's definity something i'm considering. I also think it would be fun to have almost like a countdown through the story towards the flood, like each new section starts with a date closer and closer to the day of the flood (“(X) days until the flood”) so the entire story has this like, slow growing dread because you know when the countdown ends, it’s gonna be really bad. I’m definitely leaning more towards having it take place in 98’, even though i’m like “oh i wasn’t there” because i can just ask my dad for all the blank spots i need to fill in because he loves being like “yeah when i went to SOUTHWEST TEXAS this happened”. I also like the idea of having it just be in some vague unknown time period thats never disclosed like in It Follows or something, because at the end of the day the timeframe doesn't really matter all that much, i just love the 1998 flood. But yeah i'm gonna bounce this idea around some more, and i could definitely use some opinions on if the flood angle is corny.
okay i just wanna talk more about the actual roadkill thing because i think it’s cool and i want to and i can do whatever i want. So, the whole deal with the desire to eat meat is that it starts just completely out of nowhere, like a character is just walking around like normal, and then suddenly there’s a hunger they can’t knock. Just a feeling that suddenly appears in their head telling them that they need to eat raw meat. The form the meat takes isn’t relevant, just as long as its meat. Something thats important is that I don't think there are any real adverse effects as a result of not eating the meat, but the impulse will just always remain, itching in the back of the head. Eating is a very conscious decision the roadkillers have to willingly make. But indulging only makes the desire stronger. They begin to crave fresher meat from more extreme sources. Some characters try to curb the indulgence early by eating HEB ground beef, but eventually that stops working, so they end up finding and eating dead animals on the side of the road, which evolves into killing neighborhood cats and dogs for meat, which only continues to worsen into a desire for human meat, which is like the end all be all of the compulsion, and by the time they reach that point, they've developed a real taste for it.
I’m messing around with the idea that they all develop this sensation at the same time, but also think it would be kinda interesting if some of them developed it like, slightly before, so the group is already kinda mostly together by the time the story starts rolling (so i don’t have to build everything up from nothing). Also i’m messing with the idea that the hunger can be spread, like hypothetically a member of the roadkillers could basically like…force it onto another person somehow, but i don’t know how i feel about it. I like the aspect that it just gets randomly thrust onto people without warning and think it's scarier, so i might steer away from the curse angle because i dont want it to just become like…vampirism… because i don't want the hunger to be that fantastical. I also think a true fact about this story is that there are other people out there like them, feeling the same compulsion, but I don't think it's really relevant to the story. I'm toying with the idea of a very small part of the story being them meeting a faculty member (thank you victor for the idea) whos like them, but so far gone that it's just average life to her, and she shoos them away, but i dunno. Side note that character would be the character i mentioned in the last post whos whole thing is “woman who wants to eat her kids” but anyways.
Probably the like literal most important part of the eating is that it’s not just like “oh i’m not hungry anymore”, it has some weird effect on the roadkillers where they experience this like total ecstasy. like, loosing control of themselves and getting a crazy boner and moaning like girls ecstasy that makes them have to change their pants after they finish eating. it’s one of the main reasons why they feel compelled to keep eating, because as awful and nasty as it is, it’s always worth it for the rush. it’s better then the best sex imaginable, and i think it's gonna get really nasty and freaky. Like trust me, i'm gonna make it get realllllly freaky nasty. But yeah, when it comes to the whole thing where the meat is like, “addictive” I actually didn’t plan on making the eating necessarily a metaphor for addiction or anything, but if someone views it from this angle then that would be like fine because like writing is always up for interpretation. But i really didnt fully intend for this to be a story about addiction, more so about people doing bad things for totally selfish reasons.
another thing about the whole raw meat thing is that it’s kinda….technically….supernatural….but i’ve already decided the way i’m handling the supernatural is going to be veryyyyy intentionally vague and entirely in the background, like it’s definitely there but the core of the story is fully uninvolved in it. the characters do definitely briefly try and figure out where the hunger comes from in the beginning, but i don’t think they ever learn anything real, and they reach a point where they are so far gone it literally just doesn't matter. i do think “it” shows up like tangibly maybe a handful of times, but it’s encounters are always weird and dreamy and so fast it’s like they never even happened. The main form it takes in their fever dreams and orgasm hallucinations is a mouth, creeping out of cracks in walls and growing in shower drains. its gums are puffy and bleeding, the teeth are yellow, and it has a long, swollen tongue that licks the air when it talks. it’s very few appearances usually happen when a character becomes disillusioned with the hunger or something and it just whispers to them and reminds them of how good it feels. it could very well be an illusion (i'm gonna leave it up to interpretation) as a result of like extreme hunger and fatigue, but who really knows. but as i said, it shows up like, rarely and never gets explained further, because i like magical realism (thank you Toni Morrison) and being vague.
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okay yay uh so i’m just gonna talk about the characters now because i am so obsessed with them and they make me want to splooge all over the floor okay.
Ricky was born in Fort Worth, the youngest of three brothers (10 and 6 respectively at the time of his birth). Having an objectively normal childhood, his parents were somewhat hands off during his adolescence, his brothers taking the brunt of their overprotectiveness. His brothers, as a result, often bullied ricky, but stopped when he broke one of their arms when he was 7. In school Ricky was pretty often a straight B student, and was generally well liked by his peers (the ones that he wasnt tormenting). He was apart of several soccer teams both outside of school and during his time in high school, but never had any real urge to go further with it, despite the fact he totally could have. during his time in middle and high school he was somewhat of a bully, but never to a point where he faced any real repercussions. He took an interest in killing small animals with his friends when he was younger, and continued the hobby after his friends could no longer stomach it. His cruel streak has remained all his life, and he finds small ways to hurt the people around him, but never enough that anyone else notices. He has a girlfriend and spends his weekends drinking with his frat bros. His relationship with the other roadkillers is generally antagonistic. He knows that they cant go to anyone about his actions, so they become the targets of his most extreme impulses. He does form somewhat of a stockholm syndrome pseudo-friendship with the group (besides Lisa, who he hates), but they're always going to be weary around him. While initially hesitant, he learns to enjoy the meat eating and the rush it offers, and wants to take it as far as it can go. Anyone who opposes him is a pussy, and has to be shown how to have fun. He only hangs around with the others because he knows they cant ever hurt him. He’s majoring in business with a minor in finance (similar to his brothers), and rushed (UNDECIDED FRAT) in his second semester.
Born an only child in the suburbs of houston, Jackie spend most of her life under the watchful eye of her cop father and stay at home mother, but besides feeling coddled for much of her teen years, she and her parents always maintained a positive, healthy relationship. They made a point to spend at least one day a week doing some sort of activity together, and Jackie still makes an effort to visit home at least once a month, and regularly calls her mother. Jackie grew up somewhat of an overachiever, always attempting to be at the top of her class, but usually falling slightly short of her very lofty ambitions. She had a few close friends over the years, but they often came and went, and Jackie never felt overtly concerned with her peers perception of her. She ran for class president in high school (following a sudden interest in politics in her junior year) but didn't win, and it's been a weird obsessive sore spot for her ever since. She tried again in senior year, creating a very detailed policy plan, but lost once again, this time to a football player. Shes attempted to work on her people skills since, and has learned how to talk with big enough words that it convinces people to just go with whatever she says. Shes incredibly dedicated in the current student body race, to the point it's straining her very few friendships. She lives in a house on Post with some friends, and her living room is filled with flyers and yard signs with her name on them. It makes her furious that nobody seems to really take the race seriously. Her relationship with the roadkillers is one of condescension. She thinks they're all weird freaks who are below her, but develops somewhat of a friendship with Ricky because of his “dedicated attitude”. Shes scared of eating meat. She doesn't understand it, and while she attempts to ignore it, she eventually gives in because she just wants to feel good (for once in her life). After she indulges, she can never go back, and refuses to go down alone. She forces the others to eat because if she was the only one who did, it would make her the real pervert. When she got accepted into TXST her parents were incredibly proud of her, despite it not being their first choice. Shes majoring in Political Science with a minor in Public Administration.
Lisa grew up in a small town alongside the gulf coast, and will probably never return. She has one sister, two years younger then her, who managed to get a full ride in colorado. They call regularly, and remain fairly close despite rarely seeing each other. Lisa grew up in a somewhat scattered household, her mother a nurse and her father a trucker. Her parents were very insistent on Lisa developing autonomy as a child, and often pushed for her to advocate for herself. This, paired with being left at home while her parents were at work, turned Lisa into an incredibly independent child for better or worse. In her teens her independence turned into something more akin to rebellion. Her and her close pack of friends began hunting for whatever kick they could find, and often fled to Houston for hardcore punk shows. This spawned a deep love of music in Lisa, and she and her friends started a band, often neglecting school and work to practice. When she was 16, her father died suddenly in a freak accident on I-35 after falling asleep at the wheel. Her mother continued her constant work schedule, and often returned home drunk. This snowballed into Lisa's mother becoming almost entirely dependant on her when she was at home, generally neglecting her younger daughter in favor of Lisa. Lisa eventually stopped playing in her band to take more care of her mother, and contemplated getting her GED. this went on till she was 18, when Lisa’s mother was let go from her nursing job. Taking care of her mother became a 24/7 task, and it quickly made Lisa come to several revelations about their deeply inappropriate relationship. She graduated, applied to TXST, and when she was accepted she ran, and has not returned home. Shes found company in KTSW, writing about local hardcore bands, with dreams of becoming a DJ. When it comes to the other roadkillers, she attempts to act as a voice of reason. When things get bad, shes the one that tries to hold them back, but it always falls apart. She refuses to admit it, but she likes the meat eating. She likes the way it makes her feel, no matter how much fucked up shit they have to do to get that kick. Shes the ultimate hypocrite. She views herself as a sort of moral opposition to Ricky and Jackie, and often tries to get Forrest and Valeria on her side. She wishes she met Valeria under different circumstances, because shes beautiful and kind and they could have been something, in another life. Shes majoring in Mass Communications with a minor in Music.
Born in Austin, raised in Pflugerville. Forrest grew up in the most average suburban household imaginable, but always sensed something was wrong. The older sibling (one brother, Marvin) Forrest was always distant from other kids, and rarely even spoke to his parents. As he got older, Forrest’s quiet nature remained strong, but he was far from passionless. Every month introduced a new hobby that he would obsess over. His parents, having spent his childhood attempting to get something out of him, happy embraced each new interest, and told themselves his quiet nature was simply him being observant. He received a camera for his 14th birthday, and it awoke something in him. He was entirely consumed by the way the world looked through the lens, the way he was able to capture the world, how he could dissect and warp it. It was like nothing he had ever felt. He spent the rest of his teenage years behind he lens. His few friends were documented extensively, and soon his interest turned to strangers. It wasn't long before he was zooming into his neighbors windows. He graduated with acceptable grades, and chose TXST because it was the first school his counselor mentioned. College wasn't really something he cared about, but his parents were insistent, so he went along. Upon arriving, he quickly took an interest in the University Star and the idea of his pictures being published for everyone to see. He joined up as a photographer, and has been floating along ever since. Underneath his bed is tens of binders filled with his developed photographs, all various degrees of violated privacy. His relationship with the other roadkillers is almost dependant, as they've almost made him come out of his shell. Having other people to revel in doing something bad has made him much more social, though he rarely says things anyone wants to hear, and is generally treated like a freak. But he doesn't mind. None of them will admit it, but theyre basically family now. He feels something close to love for the others. Especially Ricky. Hes majoring in Photography (duh) with a minor in Journalism.
Valeria was born and raised in Brownsville, and spent much of her childhood crossing over to Matamoros to visit her grandmother. Ever since she was a kid, Valeria has always had a light in her. Very social and outgoing, making friends was second nature. Her life was always on the go, but she never ran over anyone else to reach her goals. She discovered her passion for art at a very early age, and spent as much of her free time (in between choir and volleyball) learning as much as she could about it. She painted, sculpted, did whatever she could to make her ideas physical. Her parents were weary of her artistic hobbies, trying to push her towards more “realistic” pursuits, but she continued on anyways. Around her teens, Valeria went into something akin to a party phase, dragging her friends to local shows and raves. She found the same passion she held for her art in the music scene, and fell deeply in love. Her grades began to drop as she approached senior year, much to the dissatisfaction of her parents, who grew continuously harsher on her hobbies. She graduated with subpar grades, did a year of community college, and applied for a transfer. None of this really set her back in her mind, it was all just part of the process. She still spent much of her free time working on her art, filling her garage with paintings and basic sculptures. Most of her weekends were spent out late, bouncing from one show to the next. Her friends slowly trickled away to college, and she received her acceptance letter just in time. She moved to San Marcos and took an open room with one of her high school friends. Her relationship with the other roadkillers is one generally rooted in fear. She doesn't like them, and is scared of the things they want to do. She sucks up to them when she can, and slowly her fear turns into a warped sort of acceptance. She turns to alcohol and other substances in order to relive her constant stress, but nothing makes her feel as good as eating does. At first she hates it and does whatever she can to avoid it, and when things get more extreme she tries to leave. But the others wont let her. Eventually shes forced to learn to loose herself in the eating. She handles it all with avoidance. The meat is not alive and never was. Shes majoring in Art (with an emphasis on painting) with a minor in Mass Comm (as per her parents request).
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OKAY YAY!! So i guess thats the main kinda framework that i wanted to churn out to show you guys so you get a gist for what i'm working with. I really do think i wanna try and write out some actual like,,,writing and share it with you guys so you're not just reading my synopsis’ over and over again. But yeah, if you have any like comments or critiques or just have any thoughts at all, PLEASE let me know!! I feel like ive been going crazy with my lack of like,,doing anything creative recently, so i really hope you guys get some sort of entertainment out of this. I do think i'm gonna start brainstorming some actual writing to show you guys. I dont know exactly how liner it's gonna be, i might just write a random scene and shove it onto this website, but i really will try and come up with something.. ANYWAYS THANKS AGAIN FOR LOOKING AT THIS IF YOU LOOKED AT IT LEMME KNOW WHAT YOU THINK!!
also im gonna include the link to the little guestbook thing here! so please let me know any thoughts or comments or criticism you have, i would love to hear it. Okay bye for real now.