if you are reading this, haiiiii!! i appreciate you taking the time to like actually look at this, its taking a lot of like, effort to actually put this together and....share it publicly....which is so scary...but I really want to start writing again and i think that if i can share my thoughts and ideas with my friends and get like feedback maybe it would motivate me. also sorry if the sudden change of websites is annoying and weird, i just kinda lowkey hated what i was using before, and neocities is like fucking awesome and lets me customize this however i want so we are here now! i literally tried to make the other website look like how this website looks and they were going to try and make me pay like genuinely $50 to make it look cool. uh heck no!
Anyways, i guess for my first post on here or whatever i think i wanna just like post some of the ideas that I've had sitting in my google docs forever, just to kind of like share them or whatever because i think that sounds cool. These are all ideas I've been sitting on for like varying degrees of time, but some of them are like,,,years old. They're all ideas for like, actual full length projects, like maybe a hundred pages if i was doing cocaine or something , but I've also thought about just condensing them down into short stories and maybe expanding on them if they really speak to me. I like them all a lot but definitely some more then others, so its just been a really constant struggle to pick one and just...lock in. Ive been writing bits and pieces of them on and off for ages, but once I decide to really focus on an idea, I tend to have an idea for another story like two days later, and then lose interest on what i was already working on and move onto that other thing. I also think it would maybe be interesting to like hear what you guys find cool maybe..........because if i found out that one of my ideas was something that like, one of my friends thought was cool, i would immediately get hit with so much adrenaline i could pump out like 20 pages. Ill also probably include some of my thoughts about the idea as a whole, i dunno im just having fun!! This is also gonna be a super long post because i have so much to talk about so feel free to skim, sorry! Also i apologize for my super bad, pretentious synopsis, im just trying to put the ideas out :|
Also I should note, all my ideas are generally for like, weird gross fucked up freaky horror stories, so if thats not your territory i get it lol. I love you! Also most of these dont have titles because TITLES FUCKING SUCK!!! Also sorry for how long this is lol.
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“As the spring semester begins, a group of unconnected (Texas State) college students find themselves consumed with the constant urge to eat raw meat. Drawn to each other like scavengers, they band together in an attempt to discover the root of their seemingly insatiable hunger, but their dysfunctional approaches to feeding their appetite sends them down a death spiral of violence and hate.”
Okay so this one is an idea i've had for ages (since before i went to TXST lol), and for a while it was the story I had the most actual written work for. It was fully inspired by my deep love of horror stories about cannibalism (Texas Chainsaw, Hannibal, Yellowjackets, the works) and wanting to make my own thing about cannibalism, but not feeling like alot of stuff about cannibalism gets as grody and weird as it should. The general premise of the story revolves around this group of college students who are all totally different (republican student body president campaigner, straight edge music journalist, sociopath business major fratboy, fashion student who just like is normal, pervert photography major) who all get shoved together because of their weird, newfound shared perversion (a constant desire to eat raw, fresh meat), and all the clashing that comes from them being the only people who understand what the other is going through. I kinda wanted it to have almost like a reverse found family dynamic, if that makes sense, like theyre stuck together and they hate it. But the big issue is that their desire to eat keeps growing, and cannot be satiated in any other way then by indulging. They start by eating raw meat from HEB, then move onto actual roadkill (hence Roadkill Club), and then the big conflict comes from them debating on if they should go further, and what happens when they (duh) go further. Also i think an important part of this story is that they are all fucking like crazy. I also thought about having a sort of almost-supernatural element to it, mainly coming in the form of a mouth that grows in cracks in the walls (thats like gnashing its teeth and drooling all over the place and its really gross) when they go too long without indulging, but I'm not sold. But anyways, a really important part of this story for me is that the act of cannibalism is like very grotesque. I love the troupe of almost romantic cannibalism, but this very much isn't going for that, and I feel like a lot of things I like that have cannibalism in them sometimes end up glazing over how insane of a concept it is. The cannibalism is hateful and violent, and when it does happen its always uncomfortable.
Fun Fact: originally they were all gonna be different but with a single shared trait...they all loved nu metal. Also one of the characters was gonna be a middle aged mom going back to school who starts to develop a desire to eat her own kids lol (i might actually work this idea back in hmm).
some songs that i listen to when i think about this one!:
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“When gay porn stars start vanishing across Los Angeles, an overnight success in the x-video scene discovers brutal borderline snuff videos of the actors on a secretive underground hardcore website. Horrified, yet erotically curious, the actor falls down an obsessive rabbit hole of sex and extreme violence and comes to believe that he might end up the star of the website's next big hit.”
This is a story I've been working on since last summer, and probably has taken up the most of my time. I have a good few pages written out (mostly just me spitting out what comes to mind), and the main character is the character i definitely have like...built up more then most of the others. I think my main goal with this one is to just be like, really over the top Gay capitol G. The main character is kind of like a total asshole, genuinely the most awful LA demon twink in the entire world, but writing him has been really fun because of just how terrible he is, and a big part of the story is that all the bad stuff he gets wrapped up in happens because he puts himself in those situations because hes such a piece of shit. A lot of the main characters conflict revolves around the regina george vanity that a certain type gay men sometimes fall to, and how it kinda rots at the homosexual soul. I wanna be clear this isnt me going on like a TikTok comment tirade about "omg hookup culture!! do any twinks want to come over and be monogomous?" or whatever, I just think its kinda true that gay dudes can suck REALLY BAD, and that its interesting to examine that further. Also if its not already obvious this has alot to do with how porn is scary and evil and fucked up, but i feel like that goes without saying.
It also deals with a lot of Videodrome-Hellraiser psychosexual horror, hooks and scary gimp masks and flagellation and all that stuff. Im really interested in the idea of pain/pleasure (or more so the idea that something can be so "bad" it becomes "good" and you cant tell the difference, if that makes sense), and one of ideas I have is that on the weird snuff website its clear that everyone on it both willingly is doing so, and loves it. I think all my stories definitely get weird and nasty, but this is definitely the one that is most up in your face about it. Also as I said earlier I really want this book to be super in your face GAY, because I think that there should be more queer media about gay people who suck and do bad things. This book also (similar to my last idea) tows the line between "oh is this real or is it supernatural" but more so in a way of "whats real and what is the main guy hallucinating patrick bateman style as he's loosing his mind...but its also actually happening." because I think its fun and can do whatever I want. The gross "supernatural" part comes in the form of these things im calling Latex Angels (very inspired by Silent Hill nurses), big seven foot fall muscle freaks who are either wearing fullbody latex or...have latex skin....and when they move around all the latex squeaks and they like vouging its really gross anyways. anyways I like this one alot!!
fun fact: originally this story was gonna be a very cut and dry slasher taking place in both the modern day and the late 70s' but I decided that was BORING and i think snuff films are way cooler.
some music for this one!
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“In an isolated Californian monastery, an order of monks is approached by a traveling priest claiming to have discovered a new, unseen book of the bible. As they attempt to translate the text, they discover the book is seemingly unfinished, and somehow continues to write itself. Soon, alien horror begins to walk alongside the brothers, slowly and insidiously tearing the order apart and causing them to question not only each other, but their very God.”
I started writing this one during NSO, lol. The idea itself is actually inspired by like four of my DND characters and my passion for thinking about priests touching each other and maybe even kissing with some tongue. Anyways, this idea came to me because i really wanted to try my hand at something that took place in the past (late 1800s), was more cosmic horror (then my usual splatter shit), and was really heavy handed about my deep love of religious horror. I honestly wish I had more to say about it because I love this concept a lot, but just haven't thought about it very much since I put it to paper. I know it would be, hopefully, very surreal and most likely told non-linearly because I love non-linear stories. A big theme Id wanna explore a lot with this one is the dilemma that I'm sure all monks have between the worldly and human connection and their desire to connect with the divine and really delve into that and get all existential. I mean, spoiler alert, but the big revelation that the monks have as they translate the book is that God is essentially using the new book to declare that it feels nothing for mankind, and refuses to offer them anything further, and i think it would be a really interesting to explore how that like, effects the individual characters.
My personal favorite character is the weird missionary who shows up with the book at the very start. A kinda important part of the story is that you're supposed to question if he's just a missionary or something more, and he has a really strange dynamic with all the monks, seemingly unaffected by all the weird religious psycosis they start to experience, and theres very few answers on how he got ahold of this self-writing book. also him and the narrator like stare at each other across the courtyard and their hands like graze past each other as they pass the bible back and forth. shudders. also spoiler alert one of the scary creature things in this book is angels, but i really want to move away from "BIBLICALLY ACCURATE ANGEL OOOH MY GOD" because its so overdone and its boring. The angels in this one are very human looking, but when i imagine them i almost imagine them moving like giant puppets, if that makes sense. They have long arms, and big heavy wings, they're never fully seen, but they lurk around the monastery corridors and whisper in the brothers ears when they sleep. anyways, yeah sorry this section is very word vomity, I have a lot of loose ideas about this one but i definitely haven't been as serious about it as some of the others. I love the title though!
some songs:
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“Following a series of brutal encounters with a seemingly immortal serial killer, Valerie has been left permanently traumatized, but after years of therapy and recovery, she finally almost feels comfortable moving on with life. Then she encounters Samantha; a self-titled “superfan” who claims to know more about Valerie’s life and near-deaths than even Valerie herself. As the two begin to grow more and more obsessed with each other, the violence that haunts Valerie is forcefully brought to the forefront of her mind, and she will do whatever it takes to keep the past in the past.”
This story is actually inspired by my Halloween costume from three years ago, when me and Jude created our own slasher costumes. I think about the slasher I made all the time (he was called The Carrion Killer), and Valerie is supposed to be that guys final girl!! This story is totally just my love letter to slashers as a whole, and while alot of my ideas are very loosely based off the slasher genre, this one is the most cut and dry it gets, but at the same time this is almost like...a hate letter to the worst horror trope ever, the dreaded "the real evil monster...was trauma..." because I dont think that troupe has been done well EVER (except for in hit play Hookman hello popular play Hookman). So as I'm sure you can kinda piece together, the main conflict of this story is really heavily revolving around the main character, Valarie, and how surviving a slasher movie multiple times has really fucked up her life. At the start she's pretty put together, been in a lot of therapy, but it all gets fucked up when the other main character, Samantha (whos like obsessed with her), forces herself into her life.
This book has no like, monsters or anything because I just wanna focus more on how these two messed up people just kind fuck eachother up even worse. Theres also a plot point about how at some point they create a replica of the Carrion Killers costume and they each wear it and do weird sex shit in it which I think is fun. Anyways, I haven't actually written this one out like, at all, its just a collection of ideas in my head. I think the point of view would be pretty evenly split between Valerie and Sam because I think theyre both interesting in their own respects, and I really wanna flesh them out evenly, because as I said before its alot of weird, scattered ideas in my head. They do get like crazy Hannibal-joint-obsession doomed yuri going though so i think thats really awesome!!
some song choices;
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“In the ashes of Post-9/11 New York City Leo and Barbra Vaugh, a middle-aged republican couple, feels that their impenetrable image of America has been killed. Left reeling and terrified, their broken image of both their country and themselves leads them to dark places they didn't knew existed. Finding a new comfort in the taboos their dignity never allowed them to entertain, they quickly fall down a path of sadomasochistic sex and extreme violence, refusing to stop until they find out what it really means to be an American.”
This one is just me fucking around and being freaky nasty for the sake of fucking around and being freaky nasty. Im sure you can tell that American Psycho was very very integral to this idea, and its definitely kind of satirical in the same vein, but im not necessarily trying to make any big crazy points with it. I just wanna make fun of middle aged republicans and then write about them like killing hookers and crying. This follows a trope that i always kind of default to whenever i write about heterosexuals (because its the only way to make them tolerable) where they are a really competent woman and a sniveling pathetic man, but in this instance its cranked up as high as possible. Leo and Barbra are characters i've thought about a lot for a very long time and they're some of my favorites. In their 50s in 2001, they found crazy economic success as 80's yuppies and havent really faced any challenges since then. They have adult kids and go the republican national convention house parties and havent had actual sex since before amazon existed. They suck, like really bad, and then....9/11....happens.
so yeah elephant in the room, 9/11 is kind of like a major plot point in this story and like, the inciting incident for literally anything because like, thats never happened before, america isnt supposed to have terroritst attacks what...so yeah i know its probably kind of weird i guess to like throw it in there, but i think, obviously, america was a very different place before and after 9/11, and i think thats a kinda interesting like conflict point to work everything else around, and sometimes its fun to just have something be really jarring. But yeah, this is an idea i think sounds really fun to write because it kinda goes all over the place.
some music:
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“Following a series of child murders in the small backroad town of Needle, Texas, a group of grieving parents turn to each other for support. As misery turns to obsession, they begin to attempt to piece together the killings in an attempt to find reasoning in the violence. Their investigation slowly begins to turn as they begin to point fingers towards another parent in the community, and create a plan to commit an unforgivable act of revenge.”
This was inspired by this one time me and my mom drove through a really weird backroad on the way back to Austin from San Antonio that ive never been on since, and also this one time i was helping Adrian set up his classroom over the summer and i could hear distant dogs barking over the weird empty hills that surround the school he works at and there was nobody else around except me and it felt really weird and unnerving. This story, as mentioned already, is mainly following the grief counseling meetings attended by three parents in a small town, each loosing their kids in a string of child murders taking place sporadically over the last 5 or so years. Ones a white trash single mother, ones a teacher at the very small middle school, and ones a cop, and they all handle their grief in very different ways, but after the cop joins the group (being the most recent to lose his kid), things go south and get real messed up real fast.
This story has very little actual violence in it and i think that makes the violence that does happen feel really impactful, because when it does happen i think its pretty heavy. im not exactly a stranger to extreme violence as im sure you can tell, but the stuff that happens in this one is supposed to be just very quick and very brutal, which feels kinda realistic and makes me sad. Theres alot less shock and awe in this story, and i dont wanna sound pretentious but i think out of all my stuff this is the one thats most serious, if that makes sense. Because child murder is sad. Ive written an introduction (in my notes app when i was working in the box at the drive-in), but not much else, though i do think about this idea alot. I dont want to spoil too much because i feel like this story is very wrapped up in the mystery of whos the actual killer, but i kind of like the idea of never actually giving any answers because spoiler alert, the person they start to accuse of being the killer is not the killer, and theyre just doing horrible things to one of their innocent neighbors families.
some music:
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“After a freak car crash leaves sorority girl (name) crippled and disfigured, (name), her stalker, takes decides to matters into his own hands. Recording himself maiming the other driver, he offers the tape to (name) in a desperate attempt to gain her approval. It works. Soon enough, (name) begins to wrap (name) around her finger from the confines of her hospital room, pushing him to commit increasingly cruel and brutal acts of violence for her, and making (name) realize he might have gotten himself in to deep."
This was actually based off the Saw OC i made after me and Victor watched like 5 Saw movies back to back. I just like the idea of writing a story where the character that would normally be the really gross scary antagonistic force ends up getting out-freaked by the girl he was trying to prey on, like a total reversal of a normal horror idea. I dont have names for these guys, but i really like the dynamic they have, and a really important part of it for me is that the sorority girl literally spends the entire story paralyized from the waist down in her hospital bed, but is able to break down her stalker so much literally just with her like tone of voice and occasionally like slapping him. Honestly, i just really wanna make this story about a gross pervert getting really astronomically fucked over by a girl thats way cooler and grosser then him. I like writing about characters that have weird fucked up obsessions, so this is really me just going heavy handed into this. Also mega spoiler alert, i think the ending of it would be that he eventually stops being useful to the girl because hes like killed and tortured everyone she hated, so she just turns him in and gets away with it because like, technically shes the victim, so he did it all for nothing, because i think that would be fun! I wish i had more to say, but i havent gotten to writing this idea yet so im running on fumes, but ill definitly work on it more at some point because im obsessssssed with the concept.
fun fact: this is also a character dynamic i created for like a Cyberpunk Red character, and the main change would be that he makes braindances of the torture and murder instead of just videos, and the girl almost lives vicariously through the braindances since she doesnt feel sensation anymore. sad braindances arent real because i kinda like the cyberpunk version of this story more then the real life version because killing and tortruing people so you can vicariously get off to the sensation of being tortured and killed is so fucked and i wanna write about it.
some music (incredibly heavy emphasis on the "sheees the oneeee for meeee" part of zero):
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“Following a worldwide revelation, death becomes obsolete; except for suicide. As billions pull the trigger, those who remain revel in their seemingly limitless freedom. Amongst them is (name), a grizzled police detective doing his best to keep some semblance of order intact. The days of seemingly endless cases come and go, until a case arrives on his desk that strikes fear into his heart. A series of murders tearing across the city. Somehow interconnected with a unitarian death cult, wealthy torture-sex clubs, and even his fellow officers, Detective (name) puts everything on the line to try and catch mankind's last serial killer.”
Uh yeah so this is really different from any of the other ideas i have by like, alot. Its inspired by Victors awesome detective character Maxwell from when we played cyberpunk red and also this one time i was driving and Children of God by Swans was playing as I watched an ambulance drive over me on a bridge. I think Sin City noir bullshit is actually kind of awesome and this idea is me just wanting to branch into a genre im honestly not super farmiliar with and see what I can do with it, but still making sure i get gross and freaky nasty with it. Every idea i have for this story and the world its in is very wild and exaggerated, like genuinely stupid Gotham-City-Who-Watches-The-Watchmen levels of "oooh everything is so dark and grimy and theres smoke coming out of the sewer grates and 1000 muggings every 3 minutes" because ive never done that before and I think it sounds fun! Ive also had alot of fun coming up with random ideas for the mega freak people who would live in the world and stuff. There isnt a single character ive come up with for this story that isnt like a super exaggerated mega psycho and i just have alot of fun with that. Anyways, I dont have too much to say about this one, i just think its fun to think about. This definitly isnt the story im like "yeah this is my magnum opus this is my most important thing ever" i just think part of doing creative stuff is sometimes just doing whatever.
something i also want to make note of with this one is how i really need the immortality aspect to be fucking nasty. I think immortality is like the scariest concept in the entire world, so i want to play with that alot. The way it works in this is pretty simple, nobody ages, nobody dies, and their bodies essentially stay the exact same from the point of the revelation that happened sometime in the past. But, because bodies no longer change, it means they also never heal. all injuries remain stagnent forever, and the pain just never leaves. A body can be mangled and destroyed, but as long as the person doesnt kill themselves, they will remain alive. So this opens the door for some pretty horrible fates worse then death, which i am excited to fuck with, because that sounds so fucking scary and gross!
some songs:
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“Somewhere at the edge of America, twenty year old Emmanuel finds himself at a complete loss with his existence. As the days and nights begin to blur together, set to a constant backdrop of TV westerns and road movies, the lines between past and present begin to grow murky. Loosing touch with reality, his manic stuggle to piece together what he wants out of life takes darker and darker turns, pulling himself and those around him deeper down a rabbit hole into an idyllic, bloodsoaked dream of the Wild West.”
I got the idea for this one when i was at HEB, had a crazy fever, and was thinking about this one picture of my great grandpa thats hanging up in my grandmas house. Its like him sitting on a horse (i dont know if its the horse that infamously killed him) and staring at the camera and i have a deep connection to it and when i was buying like, ramen or something, i was like "why am i at the grocery store when i could be like on a ranch right now" which is a thing i think like once every 5 hours, but in this instance it kind of like turned into an actual thing. Anyways, this story is different from my other stuff because i feel like its less straightforward horror, but still has alot of horror elements i think. The entire thing is kind of like a semi-"character study" thing of the main guy, very like train of consciousness style storyline, but it gets weird and offputting as you kinda loose track of whats happening and whats not. There arent a ton of other characters outside of the main guy, but they all get roped into his weird fucked up shit as his situation starts to spiral out of control, and i think that will be interesting to write.
Twin Peaks also kinda inspired alot of how i want this to play out (and also just like my entire life as a whole duh), where all the weird shit is happening but its just kind of almost accepted as reality and never really pushed further. For example, i think a reoccuring thing is that the main guy is being like, constantly haunted by this horse that just appears whenever he has to make big decisions or decide if he is gonna change his ways or whatever, but it doesnt stand out to him so hes just like in his living room and theres a horse there. but yeah, even though this isnt like necesarilly a horror thing, i think it definitly gets weird and fucked up because i think the wild west was weird and fucked up and we dont tap into it enough. Also as im sure you can tell, i like writing people who are really flawed and freaked up, so if im doing a character study its obviously gonna be weird and fucked up. Yeah anyways, i think this one sounds really fun kinda because ive just like, not done anything like it and it would be cool to go in weird directions with it. Also duh its my western obviously im gonna be like crazy about it. I just wish i had more to say about it that like, made sense because its all so scattered in my head but yeah anyways imagine american psycho but if patrick bateman was like a poor college student really wanted to be a cowboy lol.
fun fact this is also really inspired by a game me and The Dungeons and Dragons group play that i DM'd where the setting was like "imagine if the west coast just expanded out eternally and there were vampires and necromancy and werewolves and the sun never set....". Also popular play "True West" that i read in my high school theatre class that literally changed my fucking life.
some music
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okay so yeah those are my big ideas. I have others but theyre not developed enough to like, talk about, so these are just my big ones that i like think about sometimes and then like rock back and forth while thinking about. Sorry if the descriptions arent like,,,,good,,,,im kinda straight up shit shooting shit out of my head that feels relevent because formatting my thoughts SUCKS! So yeah, if you have any like,,,,comments or anything you should tell me, even just being like "oh that idea isnt bad" would make me jump up and down. I really wanna start working on something, i just dont know which project to focus on, so any feedback on that would be appreciated. Ill probably use this blog to like, i dunno put updates about my ideas up maybe in the future but i dunno. Thanks for reading i love you.
Also, let me know what you think!! i had a poll but it didnt work, so i made a guestbook where you can comment, so please let me know if anything interests you. you can find the link here. Thank you again!!